Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid
March 21, 2008
by Michelle Whalen
Several months ago, Jim asked me if I would contribute a piece to his website. He suggested that I briefly introduce myself so that people know who I am and can decide for themselves how much credence, if any, to give to what I have to say. Other than that, he left the door open for me to write about anything that I thought would prove valuable to student athletes or the general public with respect to high school athletics. Above all else, however, he urged me to refrain from criticizing any student-athletes. That is precisely what I would like to write about.
My
name is Michelle Whalen and, for those of you who have never heard
of me, I was a Delaware student-athlete from 1996-2000 at William
Penn High School. I was fortunate enough to participate in four
final fours and three state championship games in three sports.
While I enjoyed individual success as a high school athlete, I find
those feats far less valuable than the lessons that I have learned
along the way.
Michelle in her playing days for William Penn.
In the eight years since I last put on a high school uniform, I have never ceased to keep abreast of the developments in Delaware’s high school athletics. I have been amazed by the success of several student-athletes and proud of their accomplishments, as they have raised eyebrows across the nation and brought much-deserved national attention to the First State. That pride, however, has been largely overshadowed by my disappointment in those who have clouded the success of our student-athletes by negativity.
I have lost count of the number of times that I have read a wonderful article praising one of our young student-athletes on our local news websites only to see comments such as “she is a spoiled rich kid,” or “he is overrated” posted by readers hiding under the warm and cozy blanket of online anonymity. No matter how inspiring or well-written the article, I am almost always left with a sour taste in my mouth wondering how those words will inevitably be received by that very student-athlete and his/her friends and loved ones. For every article that I read, I can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief that “user comments” did not exist in my day, as I can only speculate as to how similar negativity would have affected me both as an athlete and as an individual.
The average freshman student-athlete is fourteen years old, making the typical senior a mere eighteen years of age. For those who don’t recall what those years are like, let me remind you that they are never easy. Regardless of whether a student is rich or poor, makes honor roll or is just getting by, is a star athlete or a fourth-year reserve, that student’s high school years are marked by the stresses of life and uncertainty as to what the future holds. They are the years during which the youth of today truly blossom into the adults of tomorrow. And, they are the sensitive years during which one word of misguided criticism can have devastating unintended consequences.
I do not to suggest that student-athletes are neither well-adjusted nor mature, as I have actually found that they often surpass their peers in those respects. Rather, the purpose of this article is to remind the public that, despite the poise that our athletes may display on the field and in the classroom, we must keep in mind that they are impressionable adolescents nonetheless. So, feel free to join me as I use websites like these to praise our student-athletes and thank them for paving the way for future generations, but I beg that you use caution should you choose to disagree. Your criticisms may very well be legitimate, but remember that they will often do more harm than good. Although I’m no stranger to free speech, in situations like these, I firmly believe that we should adhere to the old adage “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”